Getting Comfortable with Change

How do you feel about change?

On a scale from one—it terrifies me, and I don’t want it—to ten—I love it, embrace it, and crave it—where do you see yourself?

If you find yourself low on the scale and struggle with change, it likely causes you regular stress, fear, and even unhappiness. First off, I feel you 🩷 As humans, stability and predictability make us feel safe, secure, and relaxed. That’s completely normal. There’s nothing wrong with preferring stability.

The real question is: How do we handle change when it does come? Because it always does.

How much does it throw you off balance? If you find yourself in emotional distress every time your favorite yogurt is sold out, when a new colleague joins your team, or when a friend cancels your weekly Wednesday call, that sensitivity to change is adding unnecessary suffering to your life.

Many people become more rigid about change as time passes, especially after experiencing shocking events like a sudden job loss or a breakup. Instead of grieving, processing, and readapting, they try to control their environment through order, routine, structure, or predictability even more. Btw. Also OCD is often rooted in a deep desire for control.

But the truth is—and this part sucks—we can’t really control the world around us.

We get the illusion of control, but change always catches up with us eventually. So you have a choice:

• Fear change.

• Accept change.

• Or even love change.

Your perspective on it and how you choose to handle it will directly affect the way you feel about it.

And here’s my favorite part—change allows you to expand and grow 💫

If you choose to see it as an opportunity rather than an antagonist, it becomes a major part of the
authentic alignment process. To reach a state that is more authentically aligned with your highest and most
empowered self, you will most probably have to let go of things that aren’t aligned with you.

But I get it—it can be scary.

You might think: "Sure, if I knew things would turn out great, I’d embrace change. But I don’t have that security."

That’s why strengthening the relationship with yourself and building inner stability is such an important part of growth and healing. You have so much more control over your inner world than over the external one. (Not that we want to be controlling that too much either haha - feeling what needs to be felt - is another topic for another day. ;) )

The point is: Everything is okay on an existential level!

No one and nothing can harm your soul. You are the guardian of this. You can nourish that relationship with yourself in order to feel generally more relaxed and safe—while the world around you follows the natural way of things: rising, falling, growing, decaying, rebirth, transformation, etc. etc.

Now, back to your perspective...

Think of a situation in your life that changed for the better. Something that initially stung but ultimately turned out to be in your favor.

I’m sure you can think of something. If not now, then maybe later.

For me personally, some of the strongest examples of positive change come from my romantic life. The story usually goes like this: I once thought a dude was great—I invested time, love, and energy into that connection. But when it crashed and burned, the ground beneath me crumbled. All my expectations, projections, hope, security, and external validation—gone.

At first, this was a shock to my system. I needed time to process, grieve, obsess, and analyze. But eventually, I realized: Shit. That was actually a valuable experience.

I learned and grew so much from it.

It’s hard to embrace that kind of loss and change in the moment. But I can tell you—I would not be where I am now without those obstacles.

At the end of the day, I’m freaking grateful. My life is so, so, so much better because of it.

But that’s not the only example.

Another one I love to talk about is when I traveled through Central America without a plan
—it was my very own self-confrontational therapy.

I used to love calendars, predictability, and appointments. They made me feel safe. But just before my trip, I read The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer (which I highly recommend, by the way), and I decided to surrender to the
flow of life.

Honestly? I ended up in the coolest places with the coolest people!!!

That was the start of becoming free. Free, Lola.

I started to see the beauty in unpredictability, the benefits of flowing with my immediate needs and curiosity, and the excitement of being surprised by life. If I had planned everything out, I would have had to stay in places longer than I wanted and missed out on fun activities/places that strangers spontaneously recommended.

These experiences changed my perspective on the rigid structures I had created for myself over the years.

In the long run, trying to enforce control was actually causing me more stress than just embracing what I
couldn’t control anyway.

And now? I’m so much more chill because of it.

Sure, I still feel disappointed when someone cancels plans I was excited about. But I process that feeling fully now and then move on to something else that’s cool.

So, why am I writing all this?

Obviously, to motivate you to embrace change too.

At this point, you might be thinking: "Okay, Lola, I’m willing to give it a try… or at least, tell me what I could
theoretically do next to shift my mindset."

Great!

Let’s take a harmless little no-pressure look at how you could approach this—if you were interested, of course. ;)

So since everyone is so beautifully unique and different, there is no one-size-fits-all method.
But here are three ways to get started:

If any of these resonate with you, learn more about them and try them out and see how they feel.
Remember, the goal is not to force yourself to love change overnight—but to start playing with it, exploring it,
and seeing where it might just be an ally instead of an enemy.

And if you want personalized support in navigating change, strengthening your inner stability, or shifting your perspective,
I offer one-on-one coaching to help you integrate these tools in a way that works for you. You can also get more insights
on my podcast and even more inspiration on Instagram—so feel free to connect with me there!

Who knows? You might even end up loving change. 😉

Lots of Love,
Lola